I’m so caliente!

In February, it’s pretty hot in Buenos Aires. It’s like Houston in July. Most Porteños (Buenos Aires residents) leave the city for Uruguay’s beautiful beaches like Punta del Este. We are just not ready to trade Buenos Aires for anything, so we are enjoying the slight emptiness of the Capital. On a beautiful and scorching Sunday, we headed out in search for some tostadas y café con leche. We found a really cool place, called Pinguino or something like that, and sat down inside. El mozo (the waiter) promptly took our order (there’s not much time to be indecisive here). We then realized that there was no a/c in the place and we were not sitting under one of the fans, but we were seated right next to the door which kept swinging open with bursts of heat. We began to move over to one of the tables directly underneath a fan when the waiter noticed what we were doing and came over to see what was up. Igor, having never taken any Spanish before, told him “estoy muy caliente”. The waiter kind of stared at Igor for a moment (along with other diners) before he realized what was meant. I added “hace calor” and waved my hand in front of my face. The waiter got the idea and we moved to the other table and the other diners went on about their business.

The next day at Spanish school, Igor mentioned to the teacher what happened and was curious if you can use the word “caliente” to signify heat in addition to “hace calor”. The teacher then gave everyone in the classroom a strict warning not to ever say that you are “caliente”. Well, some of us knew that “hace calor” refers to the weather, but we weren’t sure what the huge deal was about using the word “caliente”. Then she explained. She began by telling us that more than 50% of Porteños are of Italian descent. We knew this. Ok. Then she went on to say that many things which are not normally sexual have sexual implications in Buenos Aires. Ok. This we did not know. Then she added that if you say you are “caliente”, it literally means ‘turned on’ or ‘sexually aroused’. This we definitely did not know. Finally, she said that if a woman waves her hand in front of her face, like you may do to fan yourself, it also has sexual implications. Whoops. Igor and I burst out laughing and then told everyone what we did yesterday. Basically, we had walked into a restaurant, moved tables due to the heat, and then Igor exclaimed to el mozo and the other diners “I’m so aroused!” (caliente) and I subsequently waved my hand in front of my face, signaling the same. No wonder everyone kind of stared. Luckily they were forgiving and realized we were right off the boat tourists who had no idea what was being implied. Now when we go to the restaurant, they speak to us like we’re 5 years old, in painfully slow Spanish with big smiles.

That is one mistake we will never make again.

-A